Are you looking for a laugh? Then check out our collection of funny status updates in English! We’ve got a wide range of hilarious, clever and witty statuses for you to choose from, so you can find the perfect one to share with your friends. Funny status in English is one of the best things that you can find on the internet. There are so many hilarious posts out there that will make you laugh until you cry.
If you are looking for a good laugh, then you should definitely check out some of these funny status in English. We all know the feeling when we are scrolling through our social media feed and we see a post that makes us laugh out loud. It is the best feeling in the world, and it is even better when the post is in English.
Funny Status in English
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…
In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!
Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry 🙂
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂
There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 😉
The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight 🙂
I am not addicted to whatsapp . I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” 🙂
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat
In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂
Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 🙂
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED 🙂
Hmmmm…..Don’t copy my status
Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
When I Show you a picture on my phone..don’t swipe left.don’t swipe right.Just look.
Hey,you are reading my status again??
Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???
Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.
When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!
In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.
A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper!!
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.
Read books instead of reading my status..
I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. 😀
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. 🙂
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either 🙂
Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
I wish i have a friend like me 😀
Girls are funny creatures.They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday!!!
I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.
People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.
You have eyes my dear but you cannot see.
Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.
People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror 😛
If I get jealous then yes I really like you.
There’s always a person that you hate for no reason.
There’s always a person that you hate for no reason.
Stop waiting for one Day. Today is the Day- Bang-Bang
I love buying new things but I hate spending money.
? Behind this smile is everything you’ll never understand.
Love your girl like you love your Coffee… Enjoy it before its hotness goes.
I’m Jealous of My Parents… I’ll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!!!
Insult and wife are somewhat similar….They always look good…If it is not yours!!!!
Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. Girl 🙂
Some people call me Mike, You can call me tonight.
If you are player then I’m the GAME.
Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.
When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left. 😀
Wind-Up!
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